I have been thinking a lot about this topic over the last year or so and felt compelled to discuss it. Studies seem to show that one in ten women will suffer from Postpartum Depression. I do not doubt or deny that depression and postpartum depression exist. However, in my opinion Postpartum is over diagnosed. Now, I'm not a Doctor, so what I feel or believe is not a study or clinical test it is merely my opinion.
Something does happen to you after your baby is born, and its called HORMONES! Before I was pregnant I thought that the whole hormone thing only affected you during your pregnancy. Especially since no body ever talked about how it affected you after. Perhaps its because we as Mother's want to seem in control and feel ashamed if we have to admit that we feel out of whack sometimes. I think its very important to talk about and wished that someone would have warned me or least offered a friendly heads up! Something like, "Hey, get ready to be a hot mess!" That would have been nice :)
For me, I was pretty "normal" while I was pregnant. I didn't cry or get unusually agitated, I was just...me. I may have been a bit more upset with my increasing weight gain, but I think that's normal! Something did change when my son was born though, I can't explain it. From the moment he was out and in my arms, I was in fact a hot mess! I cried tears of joy, I cried because I was exhausted, I would cry because he wouldn't stop crying and well, I cried because... who the hell knows! There are thoughts sometimes that go through your head that you don't dare say out loud for fear of being condemned. Ever have PMS? Times that by a million! What's worse is your not only hormonal, but your completely and utterly sleep deprived. Depending on how lucky you are your baby may not sleep through the night for 9 months to a year! Think about how stable you are on no sleep for one night, let alone night after night after night. I'm pretty sure the combo of hormones and sleep deprivation are grounds for insanity in some countries. Just sayin'.
The good news is it does get better! Everyone is different when it comes to how your hormones will affect you. For me though, I didn't feel like ME again for about a year. Sure there were stretches where I felt good again, but those hormones were like stalkers in the night and would come out of nowhere! Whether you choose to breastfeed or not plays a big role in when your system can regulate and you start to feel normal again. This is in part to the fact that if your breastfeeding your not having a period. Once your body starts having its regular cycles again, you will start to feel more regular too. Bear in mind that you are not immune should you choose not to breastfeed either. Your body still has to regulate again after you've had your baby and YOUR body will decide how quickly or how long that will take. So when you find yourself not feeling, acting or being yourself during that first year. Just know that its not your fault. The deadly combination of Hormones and Sleep Deprivation are to blame. Consider this your warning label, You Are Welcome. :)
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Welcome To Motherhood
Where do I begin... I just turned 30 this year and as far back as I can remember my biggest fear in life was not being able to have children. I don't know why, but as a child I can actually remember telling my Mother that that was my biggest fear. Fast forward 28 years later and God saw fit to bless me with my first child, my Son. He is my greatest accomplishment and now my greatest fear. "What if I screw it all up?!?" Welcome to Motherhood!
I cannot speak for anyone else, but for me, personally as much as I hate to admit it, I was a judger. I was the type of person who would look at how other Mother's were raising their children and I would say things like, "I would never do that with my child", "Why wouldn't they just try this, or that instead?", "Maybe if you didn't do this or that, then your child wouldn't be this way" Let me just say that Crow is not a delicacy in this country and I don't care for it much. Motherhood is one of the most humbling experiences you will ever have. Period. If you think you know, ha! You have no idea! One of the many lessons I have learned is that we are all doing the best we can with what we are given. Enough Said.
On that note, I want to get real.
In December of 2011 my life changed forever. Like most new mother's, I was completely enamored with my little bundle of joy, he was perfect. I was running on pure excitement and adrenaline. A word of caution for mother's to be, don't plan on getting any sleep. No really, Ever. Kidding! (well only a little). From the hospital, between the baby crying and the nurses waking you up every 5 minutes (seemingly as soon as you finally drift off) to check both you and baby (a separate visit for both) and visitors, don't plan on sleeping then. To your arrival at home with your new baby who has never seen anything but your sweet, soothing, comfy womb, don't plan on getting any sleep then either. From the time they are born, until you die, sleep will never be the same. So ladies thinking about having babies, relish this time. Sleep is a good friend that is dearly missed most days.The good news is, it does get better. That, or you just get better at not sleeping. I can't tell anymore. At some point, eventually, it gets better :)
At this point, everything is still new, adrenaline is still potently high and you probably feel like Superwoman. You arrive home, and maybe your lucky enough to have a little help. Perhaps your mother or mother in law is in town and they offer to lend you a hand for the first couple weeks until you adjust. Only problem is, these first couple weeks are likely the easiest weeks you will ever have with your child. They sleep and eat all day, seriously you could do this job with your eyes closed (or at least your adrenaline tells you so) Getting up at night doesn't seem so bad. (now) Then your "help" has to go and you settle in with your seemingly "perfect baby", you got this... Then BAM! Week 3 hits and Shit.Gets.Real!
Guess what, that adrenaline rush, probably just wore off and now your running on fumes. Your hormonal, sleep deprived and feel like you might crack at any second. Your "perfect" baby suddenly isn't sleeping and you feel like your doing everything wrong. Not to mention this is all new to your significant other too, who is feeling much of the same things you are (aside from the hormones) but on top of that, they are trying to figure out how to handle not just the new baby, but the new you. Everything is changing and this is just the tip of the iceberg. You are not just a new mother, but a new wife, new lover and new friend. Somehow you have to figure out how to be you again, the new you, the new normal.
My ambition with starting this blog is to give a voice to what I feel all to often goes left unsaid. I want to shed light on some topics I feel that we as Mother's just don't "talk about". I feel like it is time to talk about it. Its time to make more people aware that we all go through it and you are not alone. With that said, I promise to do my best to be completely honest about my personal experiences with both the bright and dark sides of becoming a parent and a Stay at home Mom.
I cannot speak for anyone else, but for me, personally as much as I hate to admit it, I was a judger. I was the type of person who would look at how other Mother's were raising their children and I would say things like, "I would never do that with my child", "Why wouldn't they just try this, or that instead?", "Maybe if you didn't do this or that, then your child wouldn't be this way" Let me just say that Crow is not a delicacy in this country and I don't care for it much. Motherhood is one of the most humbling experiences you will ever have. Period. If you think you know, ha! You have no idea! One of the many lessons I have learned is that we are all doing the best we can with what we are given. Enough Said.
On that note, I want to get real.
In December of 2011 my life changed forever. Like most new mother's, I was completely enamored with my little bundle of joy, he was perfect. I was running on pure excitement and adrenaline. A word of caution for mother's to be, don't plan on getting any sleep. No really, Ever. Kidding! (well only a little). From the hospital, between the baby crying and the nurses waking you up every 5 minutes (seemingly as soon as you finally drift off) to check both you and baby (a separate visit for both) and visitors, don't plan on sleeping then. To your arrival at home with your new baby who has never seen anything but your sweet, soothing, comfy womb, don't plan on getting any sleep then either. From the time they are born, until you die, sleep will never be the same. So ladies thinking about having babies, relish this time. Sleep is a good friend that is dearly missed most days.The good news is, it does get better. That, or you just get better at not sleeping. I can't tell anymore. At some point, eventually, it gets better :)
At this point, everything is still new, adrenaline is still potently high and you probably feel like Superwoman. You arrive home, and maybe your lucky enough to have a little help. Perhaps your mother or mother in law is in town and they offer to lend you a hand for the first couple weeks until you adjust. Only problem is, these first couple weeks are likely the easiest weeks you will ever have with your child. They sleep and eat all day, seriously you could do this job with your eyes closed (or at least your adrenaline tells you so) Getting up at night doesn't seem so bad. (now) Then your "help" has to go and you settle in with your seemingly "perfect baby", you got this... Then BAM! Week 3 hits and Shit.Gets.Real!
Guess what, that adrenaline rush, probably just wore off and now your running on fumes. Your hormonal, sleep deprived and feel like you might crack at any second. Your "perfect" baby suddenly isn't sleeping and you feel like your doing everything wrong. Not to mention this is all new to your significant other too, who is feeling much of the same things you are (aside from the hormones) but on top of that, they are trying to figure out how to handle not just the new baby, but the new you. Everything is changing and this is just the tip of the iceberg. You are not just a new mother, but a new wife, new lover and new friend. Somehow you have to figure out how to be you again, the new you, the new normal.
My ambition with starting this blog is to give a voice to what I feel all to often goes left unsaid. I want to shed light on some topics I feel that we as Mother's just don't "talk about". I feel like it is time to talk about it. Its time to make more people aware that we all go through it and you are not alone. With that said, I promise to do my best to be completely honest about my personal experiences with both the bright and dark sides of becoming a parent and a Stay at home Mom.
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